As the story goes, it was a clear black night, a clear white moon. Warren G was on the streets, trying to consume. Wait no, that's Regulators. It was a Thursday, and as with any Thursday, that means it's time to go out and have a few cocktails to usher in the weekend. As the night wore on, this fine upstanding gentleman, who we will call Thunder, unintentionally found himself at the doorstep of a swanky late night Chicago bar. Normally another bar would never be a problem, but this particular one does not allow guys to wear shorts, and having not planned for this location, Thunder was unprepared. Thankfully, being the hero that he is, he was able to convince a lovely young lady to pay off the door guy for him. He was kind enough to make it worthwhile for the bar by racking up a $100 one-man tab in under an hour.
When the bar finally had to close it's doors, the fun really began. Back at his condo, a challenge was made. Now in the condition in which you can imagine a man would be at 5am, it is physically impossible to turn down a challenge, even if said challenge is to throw a bottle far enough to land in your pool dozens of floors below. Without hesitation, Thunder was able to channel his inner Jay Cutler, and send an onslaught of bottles down to the shit-talking target below, with some even making it to a secondary suggested target (a bar) across the street. This was a display of manhood with which even the Old Spice guy couldn't contend.
To top off the occasion, Thunder woke up the next morning and headed out of town to go sky diving. I'm not sure I could jump out of plane feeling perfectly fine. But hungover? Not a chance. That's why he made his way onto the "Greatest Americans Ever" list. The building should be ashamed of itself for revoking the pool privileges of such a free spirit. Who get's grounded in their mid-twenties?
