Strange Letter # 4--A Letter to a Celebrity with Whom You Have a Bone to Pick

Dear Sean Penn,

I try to avoid complaining about entertainers who speak out on political or social issues. Ax grinding about such things appears to be mostly, but not exclusively, a conservative pastime. These are probably the same conservatives who believe the guy who tucked Bonzo in at night was one of the greatest presidents we have ever had. I tend to agree with them on the latter point, but I loathe hypocrisy, so I most disagree o the former.

I understand the compulsion you feel, too. You get paid millions of dollars for a frivolous activity with little to no social value. I do not fault you for that, either. Maximizing your earning potential is a worthy goal and if you can sucker people ito making you rich when you would otherwise be delivering pizzas, more power to you. P. T. Barnum is a personal hero of mine. But you need to alleviate your guilt over the situation ad I understand that, too.

Seriously. I have praised Angelina Jolie for her international charity work and George Clooney for calling attention to the genocide in Darfur even though I find their unreasoned progressivism destructive to our country. Credit where credit is due, I say. But you…for heaven’s sake.

Your heart may very well be in the right place, but where the heck is your brain? Wyclef Jean’s motives for helping his fellow Haitian are every bit as pure as yours--maybe more so. At least he is concerned for the well being of his countrymen and not, say, flying off to meet with an avowed enemy just ahead of a war to assure us there is no reason to depose a swell guy like Saddam.

You gleefully combine the knee jerk progressivism of Karl Malden with the treason of Jane Fonda and deem it good. Jeff Spicoli, Enlightened Savior of the Universe. It is incredibly annoying I will bet you obnoxious behavior damages your pet causes more than you help. Too bad good causes have to suffer for it.

Sincerely,
Jamie