Strange Letter # 12--A Letter to a Mythological Creature

Dear Polyphemus,

Well, this is awkward.

I never thought I would ever have to address you personally. At least you are not filing ay sort of legal action against e for usurping your good name. That really is not your style, though, is it? You are not going to et the chance to eat me. Maybe you an get your father Poseidon to arrange for some bad scallops I my next seafood platter.

I hope we can forgo all that with a little understanding. You see, this blog used to be called Caviar for the Mind back when I wanted it to chronicle my law school days with some politics and science fiction thrown in for variety. Then some bad things happened. Sob stories are not my thing, so log story short, I lost an eye, which is tough since I was always legally blind I the one I have left. One night, after moths of recovery from eye and colon surgery--do not ask, please--I changed the blog’s name to suit my new status.

If you feel you have been sullied, you should know I am a big fan. You were always my favorite part of The Odyssey. It always appealed to my warped sense of humor when Odysseus said his name was the greek word for nobody, so that when your fellow cyclopses asked you who was attacking when you called out for help, they thought you were crazy and ignored your shouts--er, I guess that is probably a touchy subject, huh? I really should not have gone there, sorry.

Well, life sucks an people te to do whatever the heck they feel like regardless of the damage it causes others. Surely you know that by now. We hurt other people by our mere existence. That is to, I am going to keep on using you as the symbol of my blog. Look at it this way--there is no such thing as bad publicity. Only bad publicists. Or something like that.

Your monocular pal,
Jamie