“I just feel more comfortable playing with my junk out,” said Mychal “Naked Butt” James, who is expected to one day takeover at quarterback after Denard “Shoelace” Robinson graduates. “And Coach Rodriguez is the one coach who is okay with me playing that way.”
“Naked Butt” James ran for 347 yards and five touchdowns in his first game of the season last week. He would have had a sixth touchdown but he was pulled down by his penis on the 3-yard line on the final play of the game.
“That happens a couple times a game, unfortunately,” said James. “It used to really hurt, but now it’s pretty much just numb.”
While some schools backed off James due to his nudity, others feel he is not a Division I talent. “Of course he’s going to put up good numbers,” said Ohio State head coach Jim Tressel. “Most people don’t want to tackle a naked guy.”
In fact, James did not even make his freshman football team. He only had success last season as a sophomore when he started playing without pants and opponents kept away from him on the field.
“Some people say Mychal is nothing more than a gimmick quarterback,” said his head coach, Jim Ramirez. “Who knows. All I know is he produces. And until they close the no-pants loophole in the rule book, he’ll be a star.”
