Strange Letter # 20--A Letter to an Animal You Think is Dumb

Dear Dogs,

Stop barking constantly at every inconsequential thing. Quit being so eager to please. Do not follow the crowd. Develop a sense of individuality instead. For heaven’s sake, stop eating turds. I cannot tell you how disgusting that is.

You exist for two reasons; so the overly aggressive have something to bully and childless spinsters have something to bay. Neither is a position you wat to be in, so why are you so eager to put yourself there anyway?

Dumb, dumb, dumb. Look towards the cats. Let your feline brethren light your way to freedom and self-respect.

Sincerely,
Jamie