Best of 2003



New Year’s Eve is a time of reflection on topics both pointless and otherwise. The following lists of the best of 2003 probably qualify as the former. Nevertheless, here we go:



MOVIES:



1. Kill Bill, Vol. I

2. Pirates of the Caribbean

3. Intolerable Cruelty

4. Once Upon a Time in Mexico

5. Bruce Almighty



DVD PURCHASES:



1. Gladiator

2. We Were Soldiers

3. The Indiana Jones Trilogy Boxed Set

4. Donnie Darko

5. Fight Club



CD PURCHASES:



1. Greatest Hits 1962-1966, Beatles

2. Smallvile Soundtrack, various.

3. Greatest Hits, Rod Stewart

4. Very Best of Sheryl Crow, Sheryl Crow.

5. Oh, Yeah, Aerosmith



BOOKS:



1. John Adams David McCollough

2. American Caesar, William Manchester

3. Politicians, Partisans, and Parasites, Tucker Carlson

4. Redneck Nation, Michael Graham

5. D-Day, Stephen E. Ambrose



And the best part about 2003--it's finally over. Good riddance and hope for a better tomorrow. Stay safe, all.

People Not like Us



Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. The R.V. left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. Winnebago changed its manuals. I wonder why. Anyone so stupid as to leave the driver's seat is probably also too stupid to read a manual.

Cleaning House



I've spent the day cleaning out the stuff I've accumulated over the last two-and-a-half years. I was surprised at how many knick knack, old magazines, andother assorted junk I have. it certainly didn't seem like I ever had the free time to use any of it. School has taken up my entire life.



Someone said to me not too long ago that he'd like to bring himself from five years ago into the present to show him why law school is a bad dea. he then asked me if I'd do the same. I smirked. Law school would be the least of his worries.



1998 JAMIE: So I'll have to spend every waking minute doing this--and be hugely in debt?



2003 JAMIE: Yep.



1998 JAMIE: Well, at least I'll have Lenna for support.



2003 JAMIE: Actually, she married someone else and moved to Charleston.



1998 JAMIE: What? But things were going so well!



2003 JAMIE: You'd think that, but you'd be wrong. It wasn't love, kid. She just didn't want to hurt your feelings--until she found a guy she really liked, that is. Then you were inconvenient, and the charade ended.



1998 JAMIE: I guess I don't trust girls anymore, huh?



2003 JAMIE: Son, you don't trust anybody anymore. Everyone describes you as "aloof" and "distant" when they are being kind and "acerbic" when they're not.



1998 JAMIE: Have mercy. Well, how did I wind up in Virginia? I wanted to go to USC law.



2003 JAMIE: Rotten story. You don't want to hear it.



1998 JAMIE: Worse than Lenna?



2003 JAMIE: Indeed. Bureaucratic error, mixed up grades, a graduate assistant who didn't give a rat's behind whether you got the right grade or not. It was fun times.



1998 JAMIE: At least I'm getting a law degree. That promises a great career, doesn't it?



2003 JAMIE. Uphill battle. You spent most of 1999 getting every door of every bank and insurance company in Columbia slammed in your face. Employers weren't too eager to put you on their health insurance. You look too darn young, too.



1998 JAMIE: At least I kept my health.



2003 JAMIE: Actually, you had a detached retina in 2000. You lost a good portion of your vision.



1998 JAMIE: I never saw that coming.



2003 JAMIE: Oooh. Bad pun.



1998 JAMIE: Sorry. I've kept my sense of irony, at least. Well, I suppose I have a home to go back to if things don't pan out, too.



2003 JAMIE: Actually, you don't. You had to sell it.



1998 JAMIE: What do you mean *I* had to sell it. Where's Mother?



2003 JAMIE: Jamie, she's dead. Died last March. Things got...complicated..afterwards. She wasn't entirely honest about her life before she had you. It's best you find out for yourself the truth rather than me spill it here.



1998 JAMIE: Is anything going right for me?



2003 JAMIE: I don't know, but I'm not exactly setting the woods on fire at the moment.



1998 JAMIE: Am I really that far gone?



2003 JAMIE: Yes, I'm afraid you are.



(Seems like a good idea *not* to bring him to the future. Law school won't be the number one thing on his mind, no?)

Hmm



I'm still not keeping this thing up like I said I would, am I? Oh, well.

I'm Back



Christmas Break was a bit awkward, but nice. I'll explain more later once I've gotten all of my stuff packed away. There's a ton of things to clean up around here.

Holiday Break



I finished the bar review. There's plenty of work ahead of me in that regard. Regardless, today i head home (or at least what qualifies at the moment) for Christmas. I shall return sometime Saturday. Merry Christmas, all.

Jingle Bells, Jangled Nerves



I finalized plans for Christmas break. I am leaving for my sister's on Tuesday afternoon. I still feel awkward, but since this is the first Christmas since Mother died, I'm chalking it up to that, rather than my usual cynical and suspicious nature. maybe this will not ge as stressful as I think it will be.



Speaking of stressful, rtomorrow will be the Contracts and Constitutional Law review. I've been sweating these practice tests. Like the plan says, I'm taking them cold, without any review, just to guage my basic knowledge. I'm running about 35-40% of the questions correct. I'm gad this is only preliminary, and I have 26 or so weeks to bone up. Fortunately, I am still scoring higher than many f the February bar takers in the class. I wouldn't want to be in their shoes with those scores. I'm gad I have the time to work on it. There are 3,800 practice questions to do from now until July.



(Yes, I am wondering why I thought law school was a good idea. Why do you ask?)



I wrapped Christmas presents today. This is the latest I have ever finished holiday shopping. Usually, I'm much more on the ball than that. I must be slipping in my old age. I hope everyone likes what I got them. I'm so out of it, I'm not even sure who has what interests anymore. I really hope my gift cheers up my oldest niece. She scored a 1010 on her SATs and thinks the world is coming to an end. I told her anything over a 1000 is respectable. I should have chosen my words more carefully. She's an overachiever, too. "Respectable" is so...plebeian. Heh.



I'm still cold. I hate Virginia.

Cold, Cold Heart



I did not want to get up this morning to go to that bar review session. Unfortunately, today they were covering Property, which is my weakest subject. Ergo, I had to show up whether I wanted to or not. It snowed a bit yesterday, and there was ice everywhere. I only had one pop tart as breakfast type food in the house. Finally, its so cold here, I can barely keep the place warm. (Rev. Pat skimped on the insulation, it would seem.) In other words, today started out as a "Walked to school, in the snow, up hill both ways" day.



But, the good news is I scored higher on the Property practice test than I have on either Criminal Law or Evidence. I was surprised. As I said, Property was my worst subject as a 1L. Torts is tomorrow. I hope I can manage it well, as it was my best 1L subject.



I've been listening to the Beatles Greatest Hits 1964-1967 pretty much continuously for several days. Yes, I am an Elvis person, but I had forgotten how much I liked the Beastles, too. Hearing In My Life a few weeks ago for the first time in years brought back memories. Yes, i'm an old softie. I had to track the song down. Now I'm glad I did,

By the Way...



I got an "A" in Trial Practice. After putting up with Heather's attitude, anything less would have elicited a pox on someone's house. I still think I deserve combat pay--or a Purple Heart. Yes, a Purple Heart would be a nice addition to my life.

Twisted History



Twisted History: interesting column by Thomas Sowell on how our education system is short changing our children by applying modern moral standards to historical events. Do we want to teach our kids the facts, or politically correct "moral" outrage? I vote the former.

Hear the Crickets Chirp?



Today was the first in a while in which I had nothing pressing to do. Such days do not come around often. I had on the radio a little while ago that it may snow overight. Snow in a city with "Beach" in the name of it. That sort of thing should never happen. If it does, though, I am glad I have my new leather jacket. After wearing it awhile, I am appalled at how inadequate my old coat was. And here i thought I was just cold natured.



The jacket is a stylish thing, too. See? It pays to buy yourself your own birthday gift.

The High Cost of Living



Christmas is one expensive holiday. Because of my small family, I have a relatively short shopping list. ("Relatively"..."family". Ouch. I really didn't mean the pun.) Regardless, count up all the CDs, DVDs, books, teddy bears, and Barbie dolls I've purchased, and it all really adds up. I'm glad Christmas only comes once a year. I'd even suggest making it every election year only, but I'm afraid the world's children might burn me in effigy.



Or worse.

Well Whatta Ya know



Turns out the Health Care law exam wasn't all that easy, either. What a semester this has been.



Mike and I went out tonight to celebrate his graduation. He'll take the bar in February and has a litigation job waiting for him in North Carolina. Jodi is graduating, too. She just gaveme her new address--along with all the food from her freezer. it feels strange now that my classmates are starting to graduate and are all trickling back to where they belong. This is a preview for May when 98% of us graduate and ride off into the sunset.



I'm not exaggerating when I say law school is like being in combat. You build certain kinds of friendships because law students are the only peope you are ever around. Although its not fun, it is an experience in ehich you build a certain kind of bond. It's going to feel odd when those bonds are broken in a few months.

It's Official



Business Associations has replaced UCC I as the most difficult, mind-boggling, hair-pulling exam I have ever taken. I didn't stop writing for nearly five hours except for the few moments I stuck my thumb in my mouth and waited for Divine inspiration. (It did not come.) I certainly hope I survived it. Fortunately, like in any other law school class, you don't have to be first, you just have to not be last.

Ace in the Hole



Saddam Captured by US Forces: One down, Bin Laden to go.

A Place to Hang My Hat



A recent law school graduate from the University of South Carolina has decided to spend a year in the Peace Corps. I will likely house sit for him over the summer while studying for the bar. That would work out well, although I really think I should bite the bullet and get a more permanent place to live. Since I don't have any roots anymore, tat's probably awiser course of action. i'm going to have to think about this one a bit. Actually, I've been thinking quite a bit about all sorts of things lately. i debate how much of it to put in here. For now, I'm opting for virtually none.

There's Still Time

He was born in the summer of his 27th year

Comin’ home to a place he’d never been before

He left yesterday behind him, you might say he was born again

You might say he found a key for every door

(Rocky Mountain High--John Denver)



I suppose I'll see, as time marches on. Isn't it funny how life takes you from beginning to the end, but it never lets you know if there are miles and miles behind you, or miles and miles to go?

Happy Birthday to Me



I turn 27 today.

Long Night Ahead



My Criminal Pretrial Procedure professor decided to make her exam a take home. I just picked it up from the secretary a few hours ago and have been mentally outlining my essay answers, but this is going to be one long ordeal of an exam. Take homes turn a three hour, sit down affair into a twenty hour marathon and mad dashing through books, notes, and study guides to write the most comprehensive essays ever conceived by God and or (wo)man. I don't know who came up with the concept of them, but I know for certain he was an evil, evil person.

The Endorsement



All media are abuzz about Al Gore and his endorsement of Howard Dean for President. The bulk ofthe chatter is speculation as to why Gore would endorse Dean and not his old running mate, Sen. Leiberman. Some attribute some sinster, self-serving power brokering on Gore's part, that he is somehow setting all this up ro benefit himself. Allow me to offer something much less conspiratorial: Gore endorsed Dean because he thought Dean would be the best man for the job.



This doesn't change the fact that Dean, the darling of the far Left, will go down in flames just as Dukakisand McGovern did before him. Nevertheless, it has been fun over the last two days to watch the other candidates snipe at each other in frustration. While the endorsement may not help in the general election, it will help Dean pretty much sew up the Democratic nomination.



I still am voting for Bush, of course.

Head



The tragedy of your times, my friends, is that you may get exactly what you want--a new world, whose only preoccupation will be how to amuse itself.

Answer for Below



The guitar, which is on its way to my door now.

First "Hard" Decision Made



Actually, it has lead to a tangential question--which new musical instrument am I going to learn to play? Decisions, decisions.

In My Life



There are two kinds of people in the world: Elvis people and Beatles people. I'm an Elvis person, but still....



In My Life

(Lennon/McCartney)



There are places I'll remember

All my life though some have changed

Some forever not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places have their moments

With lovers and friends I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life I've loved them all



But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life I love you more



Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life I love you more

In my life I love you more

Use Care in Making Promises



I heard just a snippet on NPR at lunch; I think the interview was with someone who just released a book about Johnny

Mercer. The part I heard was about his wife and his love, although not the same person. He was married to a dancer named Ginger but in love with Judy Garland. He wrote songs that are supposedly about Judy, and the person being interviewed said he considers Judy to be Johnny's muse.



Johnny kept asking Ginger for a divorce, and she kept saying no. Finally she tried to put him off just a little bit longer so she could take a cruise with her sister. On the cruise she fell sick with hepatitis and was rushed home to the hospital. The doctor told them she had three days to live. Ginger begged Johnny not to leave her then, on her deathbed. He promised he would stay with her until she died. Unfortunately for Johnny, a man of his word, she recovered and lived another 30 years.

Quote of the Week



"We did not charge hundreds of miles into the heart of Iraq, pay a bitter cost of casualties, defeat a ruthless dictator and liberate 25 million people, only to retreat before a band of thugs and assassins. We will prevail. We will win because our cause is just." --George W. Bush, from a tent in Baghdad.

Thanksgiving



I'm back from Texas. It was great fun. I really liked being part of a big family, even though I wasn't really family. All of Peter's relatives were good to me. I worried that I might feel out of place, but they certainly made me feel like part of the group. His sister even gave me a birthday gift even though I had only met her once previously.



Dallas and Ft. Worth were neat places to vitist. The weather was unusually chilly, but that didn't stop me from playing tourist for a while. I took plenty of pictures, which will be scanned and posted eventually. My favorite was roaming around Dealey Plaza where President Kennedy was assassinated. There's still a heavyclous that hangs over that place. People had put flowers around the Plaza in honor of the 40th anniversary od the assassination.



I also had some quiet time to reflect and make a few hard decisions. I don't know that I will speak of them directly in my blog, but I'm certain the paths i've finally decided to take will become clear to all in the coming months. Perhaps it won't be as bumpy a ride as it has been.



Oh--to answer the number one question--no, I did not get a cowboy hat. I looked around, tried on a few, and really liked one that was the same style as Clint Black wears, but couldn't bring myself to actually get it. I am, alas, hatless.

Thanksgiving Hiatus



After a few hours of sleep, I will be on the road for Texas. I will return next weekend for your regularly scheduled blogging. Have a nice Thanksgiving, all.

Vote for Cocky



Vote for Cocky as best mascot. My alma mater's is falling behind. Don't let that happen to my beloved University of South Carolina!

Pick of the Litter



I had another one of those odd encounters with the famous "Regent Philosophy of Love" today. My office hours in the international law journal overlap with a 2L who happens to be a newlywed. An ickey, gooey, "I wuv my widdle snookie--ookie woogie uggums" newlywed. Thou knowest the type. She's also been home schooled and graduated from an unaccredited Christian school in the middle of nowhere that no one has ever heard of. I say all this for the piint of proving she has, at best, a tenuous grip on reality and will probably get chewed up and spit out as a lawyer.



Wait, that wasn't my main point. Okay, I have two cynical observations to make. That was the first.



Anyway, I'm working on an article while she's sitting nearby chatting away on her cell phone. I can't help but here their conversation, as she is practically sitting in my lap. (It's a small office.) She's talking to a male friend who is planning to study in Strasbourg this summer, the same as I did. He does not wish to trave alone, so right there, over the phone, he makes a pitch that he should take one of her four sisters, sight unseen, and adds in what wonderful wicves any of them would make.



Excuse me? These are your sisters, not cocker spaniel puppies. Is this really how the more sheltered Christian girls trhink? Like that Henrietta hen from the Foghorn Leghorn cartoons? Why do these girls consider their self wrth to be so low, marriages need to be prearranged with guys they've never even met? Not only that, who'd let their baby sister trot off to Europe with someone who is practically a stranger? I'm baffled. The longer I stay here, the more scared I get.



In other news, I watched Charlie Chaplin's first sound movie tonight, The great Dictator It was an hilarious satire on Hitler and Nazi Germany. I seem to recall Chaplin stating somewhere that if he had knownn the extent of Nazi brutality, he would not have made this film. i can't remember where he said that, but i am glad he made the movie anyway. It's a classic.

Hardee Har har



How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?



One, if you slice him thin enough.

Which Lesser Known Simpsons Character Are You?









What lesser-known Simpsons character are you?


Brought to you by the good folks at sacwriters.com.

Jacko in the Box



Reading the news articles about the mess Michael Jackson seems to be in, I noticed the following:.

The 12-year-old boy at the center of the Michael Jackson child molestation scandal may have confessed to his psychiatrist that the pop singer plied him with wine and sleeping pills when he allegedly molested him, according to sources. The boy has also hired Los Angeles attorney Larry Feldman, the same lawyer who represented the family of a 13-year-old boy who made similar allegations a decade ago, the sources said.

"The boy hired that attorney?" The boy is twelve years old. His parents presumably hired the attorney. These are the same parents who let their kid stay at the home of Michael Jackson, reportedly in the same bed, long after rumors and jokes about Jackson and pedophilia were common knowledge. And then these parents did not apparently know about or report the violation of their son. It only came to light when a psychologist heard enough about it from the kid to feel a report to the police was warranted.



If the allegations are true, Jackson ought to be in prison. And I've love to hear a good reason why Mom and Dad should not be in the adjoining cell.

Aftermath's Aftermath



Sympathetic ear found, didn't sink any lower, but still floating around in the doldrums. Thanks go to my buddy "LN" regardless.



Much weirdness has ensued. It's just one of thoseodd things that whewn you are feeling melancholy, Fate lines up to kick you in the butt yet again. Tonight, I was standing in line at a cafeteria when I absentmindedly glanced to my right. I saw a ghost from my past--or so I thought. It looked so much like Lenna that for a moment I tried to decide how the heck she could be in Virginia. My second thought was, "Why, God, why?" before i realized it wasn't actually her. Few people have wounded me as deeply as she had. I've put it behind me, yes, but tonight's encounter put the thought back in my head: how's it going to go when I step into a courtroom in Charleston sometime in the near future, and she's sitting at opposing counsel's table? Well, tonight I came up with the answer.



I'm going to mop the floor with her.

Aftermath



Heather and i won thr trial this morning. I made some hopelessly amatuer mistakes, but there isn't anything i can do about it now. The grade i get is the grade I get. Really what's bothering me is what happened afterwards. Yes, some reality has set in on what is already a cynical and emotonally detached heart. I'm going to go hunt for a sympathetic ear before I sink any lower.

Almost Showtime



Although i took off last night to go to an Irish pub to listen to a live band, the rest of the weekend has been completely preparaing for trial tomorrow. I met with mywitness to go over his testimnoy and am fine tuning my opening statement. Once this is all over, maybe I can get back to regular blogging.



Wish me Godspeed.

I Can Only Imagine



I plopped down in my easy chair this afternoon and absentmindedly flipped on the radio. Soon, this song came on. I was incredibly moved by it, especially because it was played on a general rock radio station. It's a beautiful song, and just pasting the lyrics here doesn't do it justice.



I Can Only Imagine

(Mercy Me)



I can only imagine what it will be like,

when I walk by Your side...

I can only imagine,

what my eyes will see,

when Your Face is before me!

I can only imagine. I can only imagine.



Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?

Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?

Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?

Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine! I can only imagine!



I can only imagine, when that day comes,

when I find myself standing in the Son!

I can only imagine,

when all I will do, is forever, forever worship You!

I can only imagine! I can only imagine!



Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?

Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?

Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?

Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!



Surrounded by Your Glory, what will my heart feel?



Will I dance for you, Jesus? Or in awe of You, be still?

Will I stand in Your presence, or to my knees will I fall?

Will I sing 'Hallelujah!'? Will I be able to speak at all?

I can only imagine! Yeah! I can only imagine!



I can only imagine! Yeah!

I can only imagine!! Only imagine!!!

I can only imagine.



I can only imagine, when all I do is forever, forever worship You!

I can only imagine.

Just Realized



You know why lawyers specializing in civil litigation get paid so well? Because civil trials are a pain in the butt. Even mock civil trials that are only for a grade. Yeesh.

The Hour of the Wolf



Here I am up at 3 A.M. once again because I crashed this afternoon. I'll be glad when this semester is over, because this class schedule is killing me. After Business Associations this morning, I had to go to the Journal office and finish editing that international abortion paper. As I rolled into the second hour of staring at the computer screen, I decided all the citationswere starting to look exactly alike, chucked it all, and went out for a burger. I needed to shop for groceries, but I think I did so in a somnabulistic (Whoo hoo! I finally got to use that word!) condition. I varely put the stuff in the fridge before falling asleep.



Now, I'm wide awake. I've run through the work I've done for my trial Monday. I'll be making the opening statement, cross examining the first plaintiff's witness, direct examining our first witness, and reading in the stipulated testimony of a witness both parties have agreed not to put on the stand. Heather will cross the second plaintiff's witness, direct our second witness, and give the closing statement. Now that we have built a defense startegy, it sounds like a more interesting case than I previously thought.



My Trial Practice professor invited the class to his law firm's Christmas party on December 13. I wasn't going to go, since I had thought of having a late birthday dinner that night (my birthday is the 11th), but laurie talked me into going anyway. I probably will. Perhaps i'll plan something for Friday instead. It's tough to do these things smack in the middle of exam time.



Hmm..I need to go find some constructive way to occupy myself.

Art Carney-- RIP



Art Carney, best known as Ralph Cramden's neighbor on The Honeymooners, died yesterday. Although he was terribly (and unfairly) typecast, Carney was actually an exxtremly versatile actor who could get a laugh just by being there. I think his biggest feat was winning the oscar for Harry and Tonto in 1974. No one expected that win, up against Nicholson in Chinatown, Pacino in Godfather II, Dustin Hoffman as Lenny, and Albert Finney in Murder on the Orient Express, but did. He will be missed by fans of old time comedy--like me.

Complimentary



Prof. Kohm complimented the article I wrote on fraud in estate planning today in her Wills, Trusts, & Estates class. It was a genuine compliment, because as far as she was concerned, I would never had known she had done so if I didn't have a friend taking that class this semester.

Random Busy-ness



Not much time today, so a few random thoughts.



I watched the assigned classmates put on the first civil trial this morning. Those are much tougher to try than criminal cases. There is often no sense of righteousness to tilt you as a juror from one side to the other. Indeed, the fact pattern of this case involved a personal injury settlement in which two companies (a pricipal company and a subconteactor) where force to pay dmages to an injured construction worker for their combined negligence. They both admit to being at fault; the issue was who would pay the bulk of the money. The verdict was a 60/40 split in favor of the subcontractor, but It could have gone either way. I know it was the defense attorney's brilliant argument (Julie, you are going to be one fine trial lawyer) put them over the top for me.



My trial, which is a breach of contract dispute, begins on the 17th.



I spent the afternoon cite checking and editing 25 pages of an international law journal article. The article talks about the promotion of abortion in Third World countries by the West. The author is staunchly pro-life (and I am sympathetic to his cause) but i have had to tone down his fiery rhetoric. It's the largest overhaul I have ever had to do on an article since joining the journal. Ergo, its also the most time consuming at a point in which I have very littletime available.



The dean approved my schedule today I will be allowed to take one less class than the full load since it is my last semester and only electives remain. I need the extra time to study for the bar exam anyway. Speaking of which, I met a 1L who will be taking the South Carolina bar, too. Small world, but we're taking it over as fast as we can go.

Feel Bad About Yourself



Things People Accomplished At Your Age: Oh, my word.

For the Record



Just to be thorough and thoroughly boring, the pre-trial conference went fairly well. We hammered out pretty much all the issues we plan to litigate and were 50/50 in our motion in limine. Yes, that does mean that I have lost my first motion before a judge, but my overall record is 4-1, so I can't complain. I also disn't count Heather's motion for summary judgment, which she, of course, lost. There was no way in Trial Practice class that the case was goin to be decided on the merits of no material facts in dispute. But she wanted to go for it, so who am I to question it.



You know, I've spoken ill of Heather here. I do not mean to give a bad impression of her. Yes, she is a pain in the butt, but so are most of my friends. It doesn't mean I don't like her. In fact, it might be the contrary.

Can a Christian Be a Crimnal Defense Attorney?



I wrote earlier that i had to give a devotional in my Criminal Pre-Trial procedure class the other night. This isn’t the first time I’ve had to do that, and when the opportunity arrises, I usually tie the devotional into the class subject. It seemed logical to explore the Biblical position on representing criminal defendants.



I know its a concern for employer’s when they see their prosepective employees are devout Christians. Issues arise in how one’s religious beliefs could affect proceedings in family and criminal matters especially, but zealous advocacy in general. One thing I think Regent often does not do well is explain to its students the intricacies of dealing with these matters.



The first crime recorded in the Bible was, of course, when Cain slew Abel. God do not permit anyone to harm Abel for the crime. Instead, he banished Cain, and gave him a mark to identify him. Genesis says that anyone who encountered Cain and killed him would be subject to God’s vengeance sevenfold. God had not yet ordained government to punish criminals.



When he later established the nation of Israel, God did set down the Mosaic Law. In doing so, He ordained government to punish various crimes, and—it should be noted—allowed for the death penalty for some.



Romans 13 establishes that Christians should respect a government as having authority to maintain order in a sinful world. (Let’s save some of the more pointed questions, such as Nazi Germany, for another ime.)



So, having established both above points, the question remains whether one can advocate a criminal defendant’s case as a Christian. I believe the answer is yes.



In Genesis18: 16-19, God told Abraham He was about to destroy Sodom for its wickedness. Abraham, knowing the city dwellers were evil, advocated them notheless.



“Lord, its seems togh to annihilate an entire city. What if there are fifty righteous men in Sodom?” God agrees if there are fifty righteous men in Sodom, he will spare the city.



“Well, Lord,” Abraham continued, “What if there are only forty-five righteous men? Surely you wouldn’t destroy a whole city for lack of five righteous men.”



God agrees again, and Abraham continues to talk God down to ten righteous men. Abraham was serving as a zealous advocate for men he knew were probably guilty. As it turns out, they were. The angels God sent into the city could not find ten righteous men, and the city was destroyed, minus Lot and his family--although his wife didn’t quite make it intact, but that’s another story, as well.



Abraham went before God to plead for guilty men, therefore it seems like a Christian calling to do the same.

Natural Selection in Action



When 11-year-old Joshua Gardner rode his skateboard luge-style (lying flat on his back) into a drugstore parking lot and under the wheels of a minivan, he was killed instantly. His parents did what all Americans do when tragic stupidity has killed someone they love: They sued.



The good news is that the lawsuit against the poor driver--who already has the horror of crushing a child to death to deal with--was thrown out. The judge asked the obvious question: What did the driver do that contributed to this child's death? Answer--Nada!



But if you wonder why lawsuits like this get filed to begin with, consider this comment from one of the dead child's neighbors: "They lost their kid, for God’s sake," said Kathy O’Brien. "What do people expect them to do? They DESERVED SOMETHING for their loss."



Something bad happens to you, then you deserve to take someone else to court and take some of their money. It doesn't matter that they are faultless. You "deserve something." Anyone who thinks liberalism's entitlement philosophy hasn't changed America's character simply isn't paying attention.

It's All Good



Kentucky and Mississippi both flipped from Democrat governors to the GOP, Kentucky doing so for the first time in 32 years. Now if we could get rid of the Donkeys in the Virginia and North Carolina governors' mansions, we'd be set.

Once More Into the Breach



I spent hours tonight with opposing counsel hammering out our pretrial order. Unlike criminal trials, the parties to civil litigation have to agree precisely over what issues are going to be litigated, what witnesses will be called, what in general they will testify to, and what evidence will be used. Basically, there are no surprises in a civil trial (on ocymoron if there ever was one). I have nowlearned it takes a considerable period of time to decided on all these things.



I also have to write a devotional for tommorrow night's class at some point, and I have no clue what I am going to say. After the pretrial conference tommorrow morning, I'll have a chance to throw something together. Hopefully. *Sigh.*

Answer From Below



The kneejerk reaction is that itwouldn't matter how many coin tosses the Devil gave you, the odds are fifty/fifty--i.e., it's either heads or tails. This is not true. According to the scenario, you will only need for heads to come up once regardless of the number of tosses, so the formula would in fact be:



1 - (probability for heads never coming up)

= 1 - (0.5^n)



where n is the number of trial tosses.



Now, while it sounds like the torture described would drive you insane immediately and you should take the offer on the first day, if you waited until the 13th day, you would have a 1/50,000 chance of losing. If you wanted to get the chances better than 1 in a million, you would have to hold out another week. It all depends on your utility for pain. The first day, after all, is the only day you can escape eternal torment completely.

Gambling With The Devil



You are in hell and facing an eternity of torment, but the devil offers you a way out, which you can take once and only once at any time from now on. Today, if you ask him to, the devil will toss a fair coin once and if it comes up heads you are free (but if tails then you face eternal torment with no possibility of reprieve). You don’t have to play today, though, because tomorrow the devil will make the deal slightly more favourable to you (and you know this): he’ll toss the coin twice but just one head will free you. The day after, the offer will improve further: 3 tosses with just one head needed. And so on (4 tosses, 5 tosses, ….1000 tosses …) for the rest of time if needed. So, given that the devil will give you better odds on every day after this one, but that you want to escape from hell some time, when should accept his offer?



(As if I don't have tons of other things on my mind, I've had to dwell on this question a bit. I have some thoughts on it, depending on one's sense of utility and whether it is approached from a philosophical or mathematic viewpoint. Why do I do these things to myself?)

Let's Keep This Streak Alive



"Who Botched the Occupation?": NYTimes Magazine Cover, November 2, 2003



"Who Botched the Occupation?": Saturday Evening Post Cover, January 26, 1946



"Americans Are Losing The Victory in Europe": Life Magazine Cover, January 1, 1946



From Instapundit.com

Movie Selection



By the way, I chose to see Three Amigos last night, as Peter came in as I making food and mentioned he hadn't seen it in years. I remember how that movie wasn't a very big hit in its release in 1986, yet all the kids knew all the best lines from it. Yes, it's silly humor, almost vaudeville in its style (that's fine with me, being the vaudeville fan that I am) but well worth a viewing. Too bad it's a barebones DVD with no hidden Easter Eggs like director's commentary or deleted scenes and such. I like that sort of thing, as it enhances your view of the art of film making to see the rationale for remving certain scenes.



There was no commentary track from the acrors, either. Have Steve Martin, Chevy Chase, and Martin Short disowned the movie?

Pitching Friends



It has been brought to my attention that my friend Ruth has a LiveJournal. It's just as eclectic as mine, with everything from the mundane to the boring--with a little fun stuff here and there, of course. Go read it. You'll see why the two of us get along as well as we do.

Saturdaze



I have spent the entire day drafting a Pre-Trial Order for my next trial. It clocked in at fifteen pages, so it would probably be more appropriate to call it an "ordeal" instead of an "order." At least I had the Eagles, Counting Brows, and John Denver to pass the hours with. Now that I'm through, I'm going to scarf down foof and settle in with a DVD. Which one? I don't know. I'm going to randomly pick. Life's more fun with a little uncertanty in to spice it up.



Speaking of DVDs, I bought the new Looney Tunes collection. I know it's only the first volume in an ongoing series, but where is What's Opera, Doc? That's the most classic cartoon ever. ("Kill the wabbit! Kill the wabbit!") I also would have liked the one with the "Rabbit season, duck season" bit on it, but noooooo. We get Foghorn Leghorn and those two gay gophers (not that there's anything wrong with that.) I hope the subsequent volumes have a better mix of famous cartoons.

In Honor of Halloween



Legend of the Grey Man: The story of South Carolina's most famous ghost. The Grey Man roams the beaches of Pawley's Island to warn residents of impending hurricanes. Is he real? No one knows for sure, but if you do happen to see him, head for the hills.



Legend of Boo Hags: A partticularly gruesome vampire native to Charleston. Are they figments of your imagination? You can only hope.



Alice Flagg: The most famous ghost from the Grand Strand.



Haunted Places of South Carolina: a comprehensive list.



Sleep tight, guys and ghouls.

Career Advice From SpongeBob

SpongeBob: Let's think of some ideas to sell the chocolate bars.

Patrick: I know, let's get naked!

SpongeBob: No, let's save that for when we sell real estate.

If selling real estate was really like that, I never would have quit.

Spring Schedule



For anyone fascinated by the minutae I tend to post here from time to time, I have just registered for my final semester's classes. They are... (I know you're anticipatiing)



Civil Pre-Trial Procedure

Legislation

Federal Courts



I am strongly considering enrolling in the Litigation Clinic for two reasons; one good, the other better. First, I could use the added practical experience. Secondly, I highly respect and personally like Prof. KcKee who approached me about doing it last spring. The only drawback is getting the Virginia Third Year Practice Certificate. It's no problem to qualify for, but I have such a hang up about establishing another root in Virginia. It's the good South Carolinian in me. It's scientific name is Otherus Statis Repulsivus. It seems to affect many from the Palmetto State.



Oh, and if any readers ar still with me, I promise to blog less on my law school experience in the coming days as I'm not going to be so bogged down in this Trial Class--at least until the 17th when I have to do it again. Hopefully, I'll finally post those comments about Tucker Carlson's book I read a few weeks ago. Just to tide over the curious until then--I liked it

.

Re: Radio Silence



I haven't blogged in a while because of the mock trial I had been preparing. Well, I tried it this morning and the jury returned a verdict in my favor. Generally, the professor's critique was positive, although he did comment that i was on the verge of jumping into one witness' Reeboks with her during a particularly uncooperative witness. Perhaps i need to tone in down a notch for the final trial.

A Christian Warrior Under Fire



Defending General Boykin: Pat Buchanan and I don't always see eye-to-eye, but he is absolutely on target with his defense of General Boykin. There is no reason to slam a military officer for expressing personal convictions within the bounds that the General did.

The Fightin' Fish Win It All



Florida Marlins 2

New York Yankees 0



Florida wins the series 4-2.



What a fantastic game. The Marlins not only won, but made the Yankees look incompetent doing it. With the way he pitched tonight, Josh Beckett is going to be a superstar. Baseball buffs take note--Florida has won two world championships without ever finishing in first place. Instead, they went from the worst record in baseball to the best post-Allstar Break record. Quite impressive for a team of young, no name upstarts with a 72 year old manager.



I do wish in some ways that Roger Clemens could have ended his career on a more positive note, but like Nolan Ryan, great careers don't always end on high notes. I suppose Don Zimmer could tell you the same thing, but he's probably too busy charging some loud mouth infielder less than half his age--and probably winding up on his can in the process.

Old Friends and New CD Players



Last July's South Carolina Bar results were posted this afternoon. My old roommate did not pass; one of my colleagues from College Republicans did pass.There was one Regent almumnus who took the bar exam in South Carolina. He did not pass, either.



I bought a new CD player. Luckily, I found one that had been slahed dramatically in price because of a clearance sale. The store was making room for Christmss stock. it was a steal, according to the sales clerk. Yeah, maybe. Either way, I bought it and The Best of the Eagles, a new compilation to go along with their farewell tour. I'm still miffed i couldn't attend one of those concerts over the summer. I'll never get a chance again.

JVC CD RIP



As I feared, my CD player has bitten the dust. I put a CD in the other night, and it promptly slid off the tray and into the back of the player. A terrible indignity for a Mary Chapin Carpenter CD, but it could not be helped. I eventually retrieved the CD with a bent coat hanger--without scratching it, no less--but the motor on my playe is shot. The laser has been skipping on it lately as well. Since I've had it four years, and it was a gift in the first place, I'm not too uptight about it I am, of course, in dire need of a new one, which I shall have before the weekend is over.

Bodies in Motion



Yes, I'm back to my insomniac pattern of crashing at odd hours. It always happens when I'm in the middle of a big project,



The pre-trial conference was yesterday morning. The defense team filed four motions in limine to suppress evidence, so my partner and I split them two and two to argue. For some reason I have not gathered, the Professor 9in the role of judge here) has an ax to grind aainst my partner. I went back and forth with one of the defense team on the first issue, but when it was time for Mike to argue the second, the judge cut him off. "We'll deal with that one after haring the evidence at trial." That sort of thing happens, so no harm, no foul yet.



I go up for the third argument against the other defense team member and at one point, I draw a complete blank on a Federal Rule of Evidence (FRE 801(2)(d)--a hearsay exception allowing for co-conspirator statements to be allowed if they are against self interest, if anyone is interested, I looked it up.) Mike tried to interject to get me off the hook, but the judge cut him off at the knees.



The final argument was to be Mike's as well, but when the judge asked for it, he looked straight at me. When Mike started presenting it, the judge cut him off and made his ruling. Actually, he not only made his ruling, he altered the Federal Rule and forbid us from using the proper law and gave the defense a special jury instruction to ensure we followed the rule.



(FYI-This is a murder trial. The defendant has a previous conviction for aggravated assualt and spent two years in jail. In federal court, you can can bring up a previous conviction and ask any questions about it you wish. Virginia state lsw, however, will only allow you to mention the conviction as an attack on the credibility of the defendant. We are in federal court, but thanks to the jury instruction do not get to exercise the federal privilege.)



I suppose this is going to be a practice of what goes on in real life: a judge's vendetta can affect the whole kit and kaboodle.

Recapping Our Top Stories



Friday morning, I met with Heather to map out our plan of attack on our upcoming mock trial. We agreed she would handle the breach of contract dispute and I, being the Tort Meister that I am, would handle the damages aspect. Apparently, I have a developed a knack for illiciting six figure awards out of a jury. I hope I can keep that up after I pass the bar, when we'll be talking real money and I can actually get a sizable chunk of that. We had yet another heat to heart. Heather is a person who has a dire need to always be virtuous and on the path of righteousness. I knew we'd never be able to move on from our previous spat until I took all the blame for it, so I bit the bullet. I can deprecate myself if it'll get the job done. Let's hope it finally has.



Saturday night, I was invited to a birthday dinner for Peter's cousin. It was a nice seafood restsurant, which was nice. I enjoy seafood, but haven't had any in quite awhile. Ironic, since I live near the beach. They had a disco dancing event while I was there and customers were welcome to humiliate themselves if they felt so inclined. I thought, "Ah, what the heck." I hadn't done the Hustle since Sissy and I parted ways those many years ago. I had a good time, even if I am no John Travolta.



I'm going to spend Thanksgiving in Texas with Peter and his parents. I think that will be a fun and interesting time. I like them all. Even though I've had relatively little contact with them, they've made me feel like part of the family. It's nice that they've taken in an orphan like me.



I bought and read Tucker Carlson's new book, as I said I would. A review shall be up in a while. I know you wait with baited breath. But for now, I'm headed off to read for tomorrow. I have a ton of things to do before things really tighten up in the next few weeks.

Jamie's Rule # 431



When a girl casually mentions that she has recently stopped taking her pills and now feels such a "flurry of colors and one-ness with the universe," you need to avoid her from that point on. Ignore my advice at your own peril.

Interesting Bit of Judaica



The Last Jews of Libya: The story of the Jewish struggle to get the land taken from them when the Qaddafi regime came to power.

The Fighting Fish



Florida Marlins 9

Chicago Cubs 6



The Marlins pulled it off and became National League champs. We'll wait and see who they'll face in the World Series. I expect a Marlins-Yankees match up. Obviously, I can't pull for a team called the Yankees.

The Battle for Terri Shiavo



Terri Schindler Schiavo's death by starvation and dehydration is scheduled to begin at 2:00PM today. Despite a Friend-Of-The-Court brief filed by Florida Governor Jeb Bush, the Florida courts have refused to block the removal of Terri's abdominal feeding tube.



Bravo.



Michael Schiavo says he is carrying out his wife's wishes that she not be kept alive artificially. Terri's parents say she responds to them and could be rehabilitated with therapy, despite testimony from court-appointed doctors that she will never recover. For my part, I tend to believe the husband, partly because the court agrees with him after seeing all the available evidence, and partly because I can't believe, absent more than mere speculation, that her husband would fight so hard for her death if she was actually alert and responsive.



Yes, the husband wants to marry a new woman, whom he's lived with for 7 years, but his wife dropped into this state thirteen years ago, and the husband waited until 1998 to file the petition to remove feeding. That doesn't seem like an outright callous decision to me. As for the new girlfriend, after 4, 5, or more years of living with your husband or wife in a vegetative state, I imagine that a great number of people might be ready to move on with their lives.



The only real issue now in this matter is Terri's wishes. Her husband now says "she wanted to die with dignity". When he was on the stand in the malpractice suit, he said "she wanted to get better." This should stress the importance of living wills to all. Everyone needs to have their wishes put in writing, should they ever be incapacitated.



Ms. Shiavo has been in her current state for 13 1/2 years now. It is medically safe to say that if you haven't recovered in 13 1/2 years, you aren't going to recover - this is as good as she's going to get. Even if she did, the brain damage from years of incapacitation would be catastrophic. She can't feed herself, can't speak, can't move voluntarily, and does not have the brain activity associated with conscious thought.



The courts in this case have heard sworn testimony from all of Schiavo's caregivers, that universally said they observed nothing indicative of conscious thought from her over many years. The court-appointed doctor agreed that she's in a persistent vegetative state. Now, because she likely did not specify her wishes, her family had to fight over her wishes.



The court got this one right, but I wouldn't risk this type of suffering for anyone. Make sure your wishes are clearly spelled out, in writing, for just such an event.

I Ought to Write a Letter



I don't know whether to blame the US military's "letters to the editor" scandal on media's bias against the war in Iraq or their sheer stupidity. In my (limited) experience working in political campaigns, I saw scores of letters being written for supporters of my candidates to mail to their local papers. Virtually every organization from AARP to the First Church of the Declawed Hamster gives its members sample letters to sign and send in urging one cause or another.



Why is this scandalous? Maybe because the only thing the bottom-feeding, bias-riddled press corps can cover is scandal. And if they can't find one, they'll invent one.

Franken v. Carlson



I was flippng channels on the idiot box hoping to take in some sweet cathode rays when I ran across Tim Russert's show on CNBC. Normally, Russert bugs me with his soft ball questions, and he often let's his guests (who are usually diametrically opposed) do battle with one another as though he is not even there. One should have control over his own show. However, this time around, he had on Al Franken (boo, hiss) and Tucker Carlson (one of my few role models). It was great, because true to form, Russert sat dumbfounded while they attacked each other.



Tucker has honed his draft arguing with former Clinton aid Paul Begala and Clinton campaign advisor James Carville on Crossfire. Franken went for a few laugh lines, but had little substance to offer. Alas, as a liberal, he doesn't have to. Regardless, my man on the right was in his usual entertaining and skillful form.



Now that I'm aware of Tucker's new book about his experiences covering national politics, I'm going to have to seek it out.

The Long, Twilight Struggle



"Now the trumpet summons us again: not as a call to bear arms, though arms we need; not as a call to battle, though in battle we are; but as a call to bear the burdens of a long, twilight struggle--year in and year out, rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation--a struggle against the common enemies of man--tyranny, poverty, disease, and war itself." --John Fitzgerald Kennedy.

Kill Bill Review



I tried to sleep, but it isn’t working for me. I’ve got way too much on my mind, so I figured I’ll just sit here in the middle of the night and write a movie review. Fortunately, I happened to see Kill Bill tonight.



I quite liked it. Even though it was only half a movie (volume two will be released in January) all the elements of a good story were there to make it a good film in itself. This is the first Quentin Tarantino movie in six years, and he pulled out all the stops for it. It stars Uma Thurman as an assassin who decides to get out of the business, get married, and settle down. Instead, she is attacked by her former associates on her wedding day. They believe she has been killed; instead, she is in a coma for four years. When she awakens, she has only one thing on her mind—revenge.



As you know, revenge is a dish best served cold, and Uma (known only as the Bride) goes after her prey with cold blooded efficiency. This movie is shockingly violent, yet so cartoonish with the violence, I spent a good bit of time wondering if I should be repulsed. For instance, the Bride kills one of her attackers in front of the attacker’s four year old daughter. I didn’t ponder how they got away with that one long, as long blood spurting fantastically from other victim made me not take things too seriously.



And the blood does spurt. Tarantino used the same method Hong kong movie producers have used for years: condoms filled with fake blood that burst on impact. It’s quite impressive. The snappy dialogue that is a Tarantino trademark is engrossing, but not on par with Pulp Fiction or From Dusk ‘til Dawn. And the music is fantastic. Usually overlaying some really violent or exciting bit of film is some forgotten song that somehow adds a panache to the scene, or even tones it down to an acceptable level. I think Tarantino’s films are scored almost perfectly.



I enjoyed Kill Bill. I eagerly anticipate part two.

Which Sci Fi Character Are You?

Capt. John Sheridan



An experienced survivor who has maneuvered around many obstacles, you are looked up to by those who rely on your good judgment.



"In the last few years, we've stumbled. We stumbled at the death of the president, the war, and on and on. When you stumble a lot you tend to look at your feet. Now we have to make people lift their eyes back to the horizon and see the line of ancestors behind us saying, "Make my life have meaning," and to our inheritors before us saying, "create the world we will live in."



Capt. John Sheridan is a character in the Babylon 5 universe.

Fall Break



Fall break started today. I could barely stay awake in Business Associations waiting for that clock to tick over to 10:10. Even then, i had to stick around for an Editorial Board meeting for the International Law Journal. To pass the time, I sat in the cafeteria having breakfast. I would up holding court (no pun intended) for a group of first year law students. Much like the situation when I was a 1L, they had rarely--if ever--gotten to really talk to a 3L, as we are ofte scurrying about like we're on a mission from God. (And as Regent students, we are.)



They made me feel so...old. Law school changes you. It makes you much more analytical, cautious about your words, and argumentative. I found myslef wondering if these guys and girls could possibly understand what's going to happen to them. The changes are gadual and subtle, but at some point, they will hit you right between the eyes. Regardless, I ried to answer thei questions honestly, ainly because no one did that for me when I was in their shoes. I never could figure out why everything other than the first year experience had to be a secret. I've probably done them more harm than good.



As far as the journal meeting, I've been moved up to Articles Editor and have taken over article acquisition. That's a promotion in the sense of, "twice the work, half the glory." Self inflicted, of course.

Arnold's Clear Victory



Quite a few Lefty pundits are dismissing Arnold's gubernatorial victory because he won less than 50% of the vote. Let's look at the numbers: Arnold Schwarzenegger in 2003 got 3,624,154 votes and 48.3%. Gray Davis won the 2002 election with only 3,141,349 and just 47.3%. In other words, Schwarzenegger would have beaten Davis last year with these numbers. That doesn't take into account the 134 opponents Arnold defeated on Tuesday. Mathematically speaking, Arnold had a larger margin of victory than Reagan had in his 1984 thrashing of Mondale.



Soo, not only did Arnold win, he has a mandate. Let's hope he doesn't squander it.

California Election Results



Arnold Schwarzenegger 1,660,036 48.9%

Cruz M. Bustamante 1,073,420 31.6 %



Schwarzenegger is the new governor of California.

To My California Compadres



Yes on the recall; yes on Arnold.



In a perfect world, I'd say yes on McClintock instead, but as you are well aware, it is a far from perfect world.

Signs That the Armageddon is Upon Us



Boston Red Sox 4

Oakland Athletics 3



Could it be? Is it possible that there will be a World Series matchup between the Chicago Cubs, with no play-off advancements in 95 years until last night, and the Boston Red Sox, who have never shaken the Bambino Curse for trading Babe Ruth those many years ago? Such an event could very well rip the space/time continuum and destroy all life as we know it. Only Dr. Stephen Hawking--and maybe Dusty Baker--know for sure.



(Oh, yeah--Let's go Marlins!)

Repairs



This morning, my trial partner and i discussed matters and decided starting again with a clean slate is best for both of us. I figured there is no sense in being a jerk about things. I've seen too many people eaten alive by personal grudges. By watching these grudges, I've also learned a truth that so nearly universal: the person you are holding a grudge against doesn't have the first clue that you are.



So, to hold animosity is a waste of energy--particularly when there are much bigger jerks in the world you're going to have to deal with. Of course, there is also the ultimate conclusion: how can we expect Christ to forgive us, when we do not forgive others?



I am sorry, Heather. I will not react the way I did again.

Playing With A Post-Modern 'Intellectual'



If you really believe in moral relativity, ("What's morally right for you may not be right for me.") then you are stating that "everything is relative." In making a broad, all inclusive statement, you are declaring a universal truth ("Everything is relative.") To say "everything is relative" is to declare an absolute. One can only assume then that only absolutes exist (such as the Natural Law Theory) and Relativism is a false concept created by a corrupt society wishing to justify it's own fallen desires?



(That was met with dead silence, by the way. No one appreciates the classical views anymore.)

The Rundown



This afternoon, I sneaked into a theatre where i knew no one would recognze me, and engaged in the guilty pleasure of a silly action movie. I got what I expected--a movie aimed at 13 year olds that seemed to be written by one, too. regardless, I enjoyed myself--akin to a pig rolling in mud, one assumes.



The WWe wrestling star, the Rock, plays Beck, a bounty hunter who really just wants out of the business to start his own restaurant. He's a gourme, you see. Beck agrees to go on one last score--retrieve his boss' son (Travis) from a Brazilian jungle where he is searching for a priceless artifact. Travis has cut a deal with the movie's bad guy mine owner to split the value of whatever he finds. Rosario Dawson is a rebel leader who also wants the artifact, because it's sale price will help free her people who are enslaved in the mines.



Got all that?



Don't worry if you didn't, because at no point in this comic booky thriller does anyone other than Dawson take thing seriously. This was slam bang, "how in the world are they not now crippled" action from start to finish. It doesn't tread any new ground, but I can see how the Rock is becoming a box office draw. He's great in this film. Now, i'm no fan of wrestling, so I have no idea how this character relates with his wrestling persona, but i am assuming he's a lot edgier than Beck. That makes this character all the more enjoyable.



The stunt work was done in the exaggerated Matrix style, addin to the enjoyable cartoon feel. This was a pretty neat way to kill a Saturday afternoon.

Secret Cat Diary





--------------------------------------------------------------------------------



DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.



DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded, must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed (again).



DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.



DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good

little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan...



DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time however it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.



DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.



DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.

Myers-Briggs Personality Test

ISTJ - "Trustee". Decisiveness in practical affairs. Guardian of time- honored institutions. Dependable. 6% of the total population.

Take Free Myers-Briggs Personality Test

Capone's Axiom



I haven't written in a few days, but I've been neck deep in a Machiavellian affair. My second partner in trial practice apparently wasn't too happy to be paired with me and evidently needs a little more time to teach, poor, incompentent little Jamie how to be a lawyer. She decided to volunteer us to move to a completely new trial a little later down the road. Of course, she made sure this was fine with all parties involved--except me. No, I get the announcement in class in front of God and everybody.



"Gee, you don't mind , do you, Jamie?"



"Noooo, of course not," I spit out through gritted teeth, which everyone else seemed to notice except her. I had to rectify that situation.



Anyway, I tracked her down and we had a little heart to heart regarding arrogance, condescendion, and the general state of affiars. I've put up with it for two years now. Enough is enough.



Hence, I have discovered Al Capone was right. You can get more reslts with a kind word and a two-by-four than you can with a kind word alone.

Ann Coulter on General Clark



From her column today:

Clark is for abortion, for tax hikes, for affirmative action and against the war in Iraq. But he served in Vietnam. So he's basically Howard Dean with scarier flashbacks.

I love her.

What Would It Take for Me to Read a 'Slice Of Life' Story?



Well, first, it would have to deal with real-life problems, like the ones I face every day, but it should include far-out situations involving robots and magic powers, too. Oh, and also you should win stuff by reading it.

Trial Run, Yet Again



This morning i had to conduct the direct examination of a security officer in a department store who apprehended a shoplifter. The women he arrested claims she brought the perfume bottle with her into the store to compare it with what she wanted to buy, even though the sample bottle of perfume identical to the one in her purse is now missing from the cosmetics counter.



I was all ready to go at it from several different angles, but unfortunately, the guy playing the officer hadn't read the deposition and was either reading it as he went or ad libbing facts that weren't in it. It threw my timing off, but I think I recovered. It's frustrating that not everyone takes this stuff seriously. In a short time, preparations for these trials will cost clients money, time, prestige, and maybe even their lives if one is doing criminal work. Isn't it worthwhile to put some effort into trials now rather say, "Oh, I'll snap into shape when it really matters?"

Is Iraq A Quagmire?



People are so quick to call Iraq a quagmire that I have to even wonder if they actually understand what the words means. I heard Iraq being called a quagmire because it took US troops a day longer to secure an area than had been planned. We heard all kinds of talk of what a quagmire taking Baghdad would be. Now several short months after liberation we hear the word being used again as if the past several times they were wrong were no deterrent. I think those calling it a quagmire want it to be a quagmire. They wanted to liberation to end in quagmire, they wanted the taking of Baghdad to be a quagmire, and now they're drooling with happiness because rebuilding a nation takes time and even if it were attempted in the most friendly nation in the world there would be setbacks, culture clashes, and mistakes. Every incident is leaped on with animal savagery to demonstrate that this is indeed a quagmire.



I don't read just the traditional news outlets due to other interests I have. I often read small town papers and news from other countries outside of the US, UK, European, and Arabic/Muslim worlds. What I have seen there is a much more balanced view. They don't report every single incident as if it were world headlines. Perhaps because many of these sources don't have such emotional ties to the subject matter you tend to see more of a big picture coverage and the tone seems to be that it's a big job, it's not going perfectly, but in the end things will probably work out.



Let's demonstrate some intellectual honesty here, shall we?

Know The Score



South Carolina 20

Tennessee 23



I was on the floor, on my knees, and begging for a miracle fumble in front of the television as Tennessee scored a final touchdown in overtime to beat my beloved Gamecocks. Nothing seems to be going right lately.

Another Fine Mess You've Gotten Me Into



Oliver Cause of Possible Horry County GOP Split: I especially like the (very much accurate) statement that the South Carolina Democratic Party will allow any "bully, misfit, or jailbird to walk in and run for public office." Oliver did, however, blast an old college buddy of mine, SC Rep. Thad Viers, so I have to think about what side I'm on here.



This is just a reminder of how much I yearn to go back to South Carolina and resume my political involvement. I miss it. Have I mentioned lately that I really dislike Virginia? I try to slip that in here on a fairly regular basis.



(If anyone gets the hidden vaudeville reference here, I'll be mighty impressed.)

Wonderland



"He's dreaming now," said Tweedledee. "What do you think he's dreaming about?"



Alice said, "Nobody can guess that."



"Why, about you!" Tweedledee exclaimed, clapping his hands triumphantly. "And if he left off dreaming about you, where do you suppose you'd be?"



"Where I am now, of course," said Alice.



(Indeed, Alice. Indeed.)

International Criminal Court



Pitfalls of Universal Jurisdiction: For those who view international law without a skeptical eye, Dr. Henry Kissinger's essay on the problems with the International Criminal Court is a good read.

Dragging my Chains



These days drag on and on. I had to fill out my graduation application, and that showed me the light at the end of the tunnel, but also that there are miles to go before the end. Mercy, am I ever ready to leave this life style and state behind. There's way too many petty squabbles foing on arouind me for my tastes. The pressure is on, and nerves are frayed. Keep in mind, it's only the Fall. Wait until Spring, when the bar exam looms, the stragglers who haven't taken the MPRE sweat it out, the job search gets desperate.



Fun, fun, fun in the Virginia Beach sun.

Why We Hate Bush



A Liberal Explains: Short answer: he's rich, successful, politically powerful, and not Bill Clinton. Even shorter answer: we're jealous crybabies.

Justice, Justice, Pursueth Thou



Monkeys Demand Equal Pay for Equal Work: Researchers taught brown capuchin monkeys to swap tokens for food. Usually they were happy to exchange this "money" for cucumber. But if they saw another monkey getting a grape - a more-liked food - they took offence. Some refused to work, others took the food and refused to eat it.

One Hat Too Many



The Trouble With Wes: Democrats were giddy with excitement over Gen. Wesley Clark's announcing his candicay for president. Clark holds all the right political positions and has military service. Many feel he is exacty what they need to beat Bush. Hold tight, say I, and take a gander at this article. Gen. Clark met with the notorious Bosnian Serb commander and indicted war criminal, Gen. Ratko Mladic in 1994. The two exchanged gifts of each other's uniform hats. A photo of them wearing each other's hat floated around Europe at the time and is all over the internet now (Sorry I couldn't find a more permanent link for the photo, or i would have put it here.)



Imagine Rommel wearing an American Eagle whie Eisenhower sports a swastika armband, and you'll get an idea of how erious this situation is. Mladic is considered by U.S. intelligence as the mastermind of the Srebrenica massacre of Muslim civilians and is a still at large war criminal. And this Clark bozo wants to be president? I don't know what's worse: that he thinks he can win or that the Democrats are salivating over the prospect.

You Change Just Like the Weather



I have just returned after an evacuation in preparation for Hurricane Isabel. Virginia Beach looks like a war zone. Trees are down everywhere, and much of the city is without power. Even the traffic lights aren't working in some areas. Fortunately, my neighborhood is back in business, although groundskeepers haven't removed many of the fallen trees.



I had to clean out the refrigerator of a bunch of frozen foods that have thawed out and refroze. I didn't want to take chances with them. I had to scrub down the whole thing just in case of salmonella. My roommate hasn't returned yet, so he is not yet aware that his scooter is a total loss. He's going to be in a charming mood, I would imagine.



Tomorrow, I have to putter about and restore food and other essentials as well as check on friends. Some libe closer to the beach than I do, so I hope things are all right for them. Twenty-nine people were killed up and down the East Coast from this storm.

Blowin' in the Wind



Yep, Hurricane Isabel's a'comin', and Jamie's a 'goin'. See you on the other side.



Dust in the Wind

(Kansas)



I close my eyes

Only for a moment, then the momen't gone

All my dreams

Pass before my eyes, a curiosity

Dust in the wind

All they are is dust in the wind



Same old song

Just a drop of water in an endless sea

All we do

Crumbles to the ground, though we refuse to see

Dust in the wind

All we are is dust in the wind, ohh



Now, don't hang on

Nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky

It slips away

And all your money won't another minute buy

Dust in the wind

All we are is dust in the wind

All we are is dust in the wind



Dust in the wind

Everything is dust in the wind

Everything is dust in the wind

The wind

Quit Your Medal-ing Around



Medals of the World: a collection of military and cvilian medals from around the world. I want the Order of the White Eagle from Poland, if someone would see fit to award it to me.

Cashed Out



While I am happy that Johnny Cash is getting all the tribute he deserves (although I wish he had gotten more of it in the last days of his life. We all knew he was dying.), I am getting annoyed at some of the people that TV shows are trotting out claiming to have been influenced by Cash. Justin Timnerlake may have enjoyed Cash albums as a kid, but don't even claim N'SYNC got its sound and style from Cash. Heck, losing the MTV music award to that twerp Timberlake probably pushed Cash over the edge to join the choir invisible in the first place. You guys want to say you enjoyed Johnny Cash's music, great, but don't blame him for the schlock you put out.

Right on Track



It looks like Hurricane Isabel is right on track to hit the coast of Virginia Thursday or Friday. This will be the second major hurricane to hit an area where I live. I lived right in the path of Hurrcane Hugo when it came ashore in South Carolina in 1989.

Remembering Admonitions



I went into McDonald's this afternoon. There was a shaky teenage girl behind the counter. This was her first day on the job and I heard her apologize profusely to customer in front of me while telling him she was still in training. When I got to the counter, rang up my order incorrectly, then charged me to much. I mentioned thie price was three dollars too high, and she said, "I know I'm not sure I pressed the right button."



She saw no need to correct this error, and I steamed. I stood there and waited longer as she forgot both my fries and condiments. The guy behind me started snivkering at her, and I made a few comments, too.



After a while she came over to my table, gave me a free apple pie and apologized for messing up my order. I felt like a horse's behind, and apologized for my attitude.



The best way to judge a person is by the way he treats those who are called on to serve him--the waitresses, the cashiers, the janitors. I forgot Christ's admonition that "what you do to the least of these, you do to me." I gave an awfully poor testimony this afternoon, and I am ashamed of myself.

Once Upon a Time in Mexico



I just got back from seeing that movie. Pretty decent in a comic booky sort of way. Director Rodriguez wants to be the Hispanic Quentin Tarantino, and that influence shows, as does his admiration for Sergio Leone. Unfortunately, Rodrigeuz doesn't have Tarantino's wit, and Antonio Banderas is no Clint Eastwood. For me, Johnny Depp made the fim as Agent Sands. Depp plays such a good edgy psycho. I think he's the best character actor around today.



There was a preview forthe new Coen brothers film, Intolerable Cruelty with George Clooney, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Billy Bob Thornton. I'm looking forward to that.

Marty Stuart on Johnny Cash



"...in the last few months, two vultures had taken up residence on the Cash property, and they would sit outside the window of John's office and stare at him. And John would stare back at them."



Marty said, "It takes a guy pretty secure in his position in the world to befriend vultures."

The Man in Black (1932-2003)



I keep a close watch on this heart of mine

I keep my eyes wide open all the time.

I keep the ends out for the tie that binds

Because you're mine, I walk the line.



RIP Johnny Cash. He died last night at 71.

Two Years Ago Today



The Second Coming (part)

(William Butler Yeats)



Things fall apart; the center cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.



and



The Rising

(Bruce Springsteen)



Can't see nothin' in front of me

Can't see nothin' coming up behind

I make my way through this darkness

I can't feel nothing but this chain that binds me

Lost track of how far I've gone

How far I've gone, how high I've climbed

On my back's a sixty pound stone

On my shoulder a half mile of line



Come on up for the rising

Come on up, lay your hands in mine

Come on up for the rising

Come on up for the rising tonight



Left the house this morning

Bells ringing filled the air

Wearin' the cross of my calling

On wheels of fire I come rollin' down here



Come on up for the rising

Come on up, lay your hands in mine

Come on up for the rising

Come on up for the rising tonight



Li,li, li,li,li,li, li,li,li



There's spirits above and behind me

Faces gone black, eyes burnin' bright

May their precious blood bind me

Lord, as I stand before your fiery light



Li,li, li,li,li,li, li,li,li



I see you Mary in the garden

In the garden of a thousand sighs

There's holy pictures of our children

Dancin' in a sky filled with light

May I feel your arms around me

May I feel your blood mix with mine

A dream of life comes to me

Like a catfish dancin' on the end of my line



Sky of blackness and sorrow (a dream of life)

Sky of love, sky of tears (a dream of life)

Sky of glory and sadness (a dream of life)

Sky of mercy, sky of fear (a dream of life)

Sky of memory and shadow (a dream of life)

Your burnin' wind fills my arms tonight

Sky of longing and emptiness (a dream of life)

Sky of fullness, sky of blessed life



Come on up for the rising

Come on up, lay your hands in mine

Come on up for the rising

Come on up for the rising tonight



Finally,



"All around us, it was as if the universe were holding its breath, waiting. All of life can be broken down into moments of transition or moments .. of revelation. This had the feeling of both.



There is a greater darkness than the one we fight. It is the darkness of the soul that has lost its way. The war we fight is not against powers and principalities, it is against chaos and despair. Greater than the death of flesh is the death of hope, the death of dreams. Against this peril we can never surrender. The future is all around us, waiting in moments of transition, to be born in moments of revelation. No one knows the shape of that future, or where it will take us. We know only that it is always born in pain.'"



--Ambassador G'Kar in Babylon 5 episode, "Z'ha'dum"

We Wacky, Xenophobic Americans



U.S. Opinion of United Nations Lowest in 50 Years: Hallelujah. Maybe that organization (or at least the Security Council) will go the way of the dodo bird. Not that I'm optimistic about it. Speaking of international law, my article on Japanese war crime victims will be published in the Spring 2004 issue of the Regent Journal of International Law.

To the Ends of the Earth



Degree Confluence Project: The goal of the project is to visit each of the latitude and longitude integer degree intersections in the world, and to take pictures at each location. The pictures and stories will then be posted. Neat idea.

Pound for Pound



Since starting this free weight exercise program in June, I have gained nine pounds. Now, I have the metabolism of a chipmunk with ADD, so this is quite an accomplishment. I'd eat a piece o chocolate cake in celebration, but I ate the whole thing yesterday while watching Heartbreak Ridge from the 265th time. (See? Metabolism.) Actually, to celebrate, I purchased heavier weights in order to shake things up a bit more. I'm going to have to lower the amount of reps I do, but this new weight is enough of a challenge to compensate for that.



Trial Practice is tomorrow. I get to handle "real" evidence. This is a neat thing.

Heatwave



Socialism Kills: Did a socialist and secular national mindset kill 11,000+ elderly people in France's recent heatwave? Dennis Prager thinks so in this essay regarding the belief in "Government as Caretaker."

Trial Run



I had my first direct examination. I was questioning a witness regarding a telephone call he reeived from a jealous coworker. The coworker threatened to pour sugar into my witness' gas tank if he didn't pay him $500. Fortunately, my witness survived the defense's cross examination virtually unscathed. Litigation is one of the most fascinating experiences of being a lawyer. It makes drafting estate plans seem dull in comparison.

Are You a Neoconservative?



Take the test and Find Out. For the record, I scored as a realist. Apparently, I do not take ethical issues into consideration when making foreign policy decisions. Go figure.

Off the Track and On the Rocks



Jeff Gordon's Divorce Settlement: No wonder he can't win on the track lately. He's about $15 million lighter in the walllet.

Watched Bridge on the River Kwai Yet Again



"You make me sick with your heroics. There's a stench of death about you. You carry it in your pack like the plague. Explosives and L-pills -- they go well together, don't they? And with you it's just one thing or the other: destroy a bridge or destroy yourself. This is just a game, this war! You and Colonel Nicholson, you're two of a kind, crazy with courage. For what? How to die like a gentleman... how to die by the rules... when the only important thing is how to live like a human being."--Major Shears.



(Yes, Nicholson is pretty much a treasonous collaborator, but it's a classic film on the nihilism of war regardless.)

Smallville Soundtrack



Admittedly, it was an impulse purchase I normally wouldn't go for, but I have thoroughly enjoyed it. The Flaming Lips, Six Pence None the Richer, and Ryan Adams are all quite talented. But what steals the show for me is Eva Cassidy's version of Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time. It's much slower, with a sadder intonation than Lauper's. It's tragic that Cassidy died too young in her career to get the exposure her lovely voice deserves.

Look it Up Before You Write It



The word you are looking for is "epiphany," not "chimera." There is a difference. You want to write like Kerouac, you need to get the words correct. It would also help to drink yourself blind, shoot heroin through your eyeballs, and have zero literary talent--a few doses of thorazine might help, too-- but that's more advice from me than you actually asked me for.



(Whoo. Thanks for listening to that. I'm working on my tact. That was version B of the advice I gave. Version A was much nicer and more constructive.)

A Counter Encounter



I strolled into Waldenbooks today and made my usual eclectic purchases. (I've made a few friends of the staff their because I don't buy the usual Harry Potter and "nekkid women" magazines they are used to. Apparently that Winston Churchill biography had been sitting on the shelf quite awhile. Anyhow..) The checkout girl plopped my debit card back on the counter and....yeah, okay..she was about 24, dark hair tied in a pony tail with some loose strands that fll over her wire rim glasses and into her face. Curvy, yes. Cute, yes. Satisfied?



If I may continue. she plopped my debit card on thr counter. As I reached for it she was putting the receipt down for me to sign. Her pen gave me a near perfect Nike Swoosh just under the knuckles.



"Ooh, I'm sorry. I wrote on you." she said, apologetically.



"Don't worry. It's not the worst thing a girl has ever done to me." I joked.



She laughed awkwardly. I'm thinking that wasn't really a decent joke to tell. i certainly have a way with cute girls, let me tell you.



On an even worse note, Marvel Comics (man does not live by literature alone) has raisd its standard cover price from $2.25 to $2.99. Yeesh. Does anyoe really wonder why they are only selling 2/3 of what they were selling 5 years ago?