50CENT TELLS TWITTER HOW TO PLEASE A LADY

Thank you 50Cent for making twitter worthwhile. I'm sure there are a lot of ladies out there that would like to thank you as well.

OCHOCINCO'S PIGEON IS PREGNANT

Here is yet another great answer to the question, "Why would I want to be on twitter?" Apparently Ochocinco has some pet pigeons. Everyone talks about how 85 only cares about himself, but that is clearly not true. Here you can clearly see that he has the ability to empathize with his poor little pigeon. Much like in real live, the male bird knocked up the female, and then got the hell out of there.

This leads me to my next point....what the fuck is wrong with Ochocinco? Get your shit together man. Shouldn't you be getting DUIs, arrested for Drunk & Disorderly, or murdering people or something? What kind of lame ass drama is a pigeon?

In related news, enjoy this song.

TWITTER FOLLOWERS

Now that I am actually making a point of posting random ass comments that pop into my head on twitter (I'm not one of those douches that just says "going to the gym, should I eat fruit loops(obviously yes), or I don't want to be awake right now) I feel it's time for me to start actually talking to someone instead of myself.  I am looking for some crazy ploy to get people to follow me.

Recently a Dutch pornstar picked up 100,000 new followers because she said she'd give every follower a BJ if Netherlands won the World Cup. I followed her immediately even though I had no intention of ever trying to collect on a BJ way over in the Netherlands, especially since it was probably going to be during the "world's largest facebang" or something creepy like that.  Obviously I won't be giving out any BJs, nor would anyone want one from me, but it's that sort of creativity I'm trying to channel here.

Peeling off a piece of clothing from a cardboard cutout of Rachel Phelps(The owner of the Cleveland Indians in the movie Major League) for every win worked really well for Indians, but I don't have any pictures of hot naked chicks to photoshop that isn't already widely available on the internet, so that kinda loses its affect.

There's no bad ideas in brainstorming though, so if you've got one leave it in the comments. No matter how ridiculous, I'm all eyes(and inner-head voice) so just throw them out there.

Here is the first way I'm going to trick you to go over to twitter, click the picture of whichever person you would prefer to sleep with and something awesome will happen.

THE NEWEST PERSON THAT I FOLLOW ON TWITTER

I am pretty selective about who I follow on twitter.  Unless you are going to say something useful or funny, it's just not happening.  That's probably why I only have something like 100 followers(people appreciate when you follow them back).  This however will get me to follow someone instantly. Let's go Netherlands!

UPDATE: As any good blogger does, I decided I should do some research.  It appears as though she proficient at giving BJs. Once again, go Netherlands!

IPHONE 4 SUCKS

I like to use criminals as my indicator for most things in life.  Apparently, this one didn't have much faith in the value of the new iPhone, so he went ahead and took the cash before his victim even got the phone.  He must know something the rest of the world doesn't, because I'm pretty sure you could sell one of those fuckers for almost a grand right now.
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BATMAN HATES MOTHER'S DAY

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