DRINKING MONKEY

I think at some point in every dude's life he has decided he should get a pet monkey. I'd say I have that thought about every 9 months, and this happens to be one of those occasions.  I never find myself without people to drink with, but why not drink with a monkey too?  Oh, and mine would definitely be trained to pick pockets, and I did tell you that.
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Q: What's the difference between a Pickpocket and a Peeping Tom?

A: A Pickpocket snatches watches...