Formspring Question #146--Only if You Are Paranoid Edition

Is everything a conspiracy theory?

No. Some things are lollipops.

Formspring Question #146--Only if You Are Paranoid Edition

Is everything a conspiracy theory?

No. Some things are lollipops.

Formspring Question #145--Poll Position Edition

Are you going to abide by the results of the current poll, or are you only looking to see how your readers feel?

I am going to abide by it. Whichever series wins gets reviewed next, so be sure to vote for the one you want to see.

Formspring Question #145--Poll Position Edition

Are you going to abide by the results of the current poll, or are you only looking to see how your readers feel?

I am going to abide by it. Whichever series wins gets reviewed next, so be sure to vote for the one you want to see.

Formspring Question # 56--Biller Chiller Edition

So just to clarify, you don't like Kenneth Biller?

No, I do not like Kenneth Biller. He is responsible for some of the worst Trek episodes ever. Worse yet, he was stuck on VOY, so he does not have work on better trek series to somewhat redeem himself like Brannon Braga and Rick Berman do.

Look at the damage this guy has done:

"Faces"--If the Vidiians can perform such advanced genetic experiments like splitting one person into two, why do they not clone the healthy organs they need instead of harvesting from aliens?

"Twisted"--The story is not resolved, it just...ends.

"Tuvix"--Janeway kills a being created by accidentally fusing two main characters. She does so when the Doctor refuses the action as a violation of medical ethics.

"The Q and the Grey"--"Continuity? What continuity? no way was it established the Q have children three years ago. Wait...you mean it was? will Trekkies notice that sort of thing?"

"Virtuoso"--The only Doctor on the ship, who happens to also be a hologram, decides to leave for a career as an opera singer.

"Endgame"--Time travel story with no attempt at logic whatsoever. Thank heavens it was the final episode.

These are just off the top of my head. Biller wrote twenty or so episodes, if I am not mistaken. Terrible, illogical, continuity-busting episodes.

Formspring Question # 55--Silver Screen v. Idiot Box Edition

Who would win: the cast of the last movie you saw vs. the cast of the last television show you watched?

That is easy. The cast of the last movie I watched. I watched The Delta force yesterday in order to write a review. The last television show I watched was a Family Guy rerun on Cartoon Network.

While Peter Griffin has held his own fighting a giant chicken on several occasions, he is no match for Chuck norris and Lee Marvin. Chuck and lee have Joey Bishop, Shellie Winters, Bo Svenson, and george Kennedy for back up. I do not believe the Griffinses would have a prayer.

On the other hand, Stewie might have a formidable weaspon up his sleeve, but he has been defeated by Lois before. Joe Swanson is pretty tough in spite of being wheelchair bound. It is blasphemous to speculate he might give Chuck norris a run for his money? It is best to not risk it. I shall stick to my original answer.

Formspring Question # 54--Chop Suey Edition

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Thanks for (kinda) answering my 5DV, Jamie. I've got a small re-re-re-debut planned soon, so the real question is this- How do you feel about plugging my awful blog?

I feel that promoting a kung fu movie blog at the Eye would be like promoting STD screenings at Bible camp. I am sure someone would be interested, but I would be disappointed to know who.

Formspring Question # 53--Kung Fu Fighting Edition

Are the 5 deadly venoms under appreciated, overrated, or just where they should be?

I have never seen the movie, so you are asking the wrong guy. Kung fu movies are not my thing.

Formspring Question # 52--Potent Quotables Edition

What movie was the "Up Yours, Baby" quote from?

Kelly's Heroes

Formspring Question # 51--Duchovnyan Doll Edition

Tea Leoni

Tea Leoni:She just turned 44, as luck would have it.

Formspring Question # 50--Little Italy Edition

Does your busted colon make it difficult to eat fettuccine alfredo?

I avoid it if there is broccoli mixed in. Certain green, leafy vegetables can cause inflammation.

Formspring Question # 49--In Doggerel, I Would Imagine Edition

Why does my neighbor's dog keep telling me to murder women?

Because dogs are man’s best friend, not women’s. The notion implies a chauvinistic gender favoritism in the extreme. Extreme chauvinism promotes a sense women have less value than men, and therefore can be treated as lesser beings. The attitude allows the chauvinist to justify violent behavior towards women. In extreme cases, this can include murder.

Dogs are, of course, text boo cases. Note how they routinely refer to their women as “bitches.” Go to a dog pound, and you will here that word more than at a Jay-Z concert. None blink an eye at its use. Even the women are resigned to it.

You did not ask for my advice, but if I were you, I would just ignore the dog. They are pack animals inclined to assume a dominant role if you allow them to do so. You should not. The human should maintain the alpha dog role in every relationship with a canine. Even if you are just neighbors, you need to be in control.

David Berkowitz did not heed that advice. Look what happened to him.

Formspring Question # 48--Broken Funny Bone Edition

You haven't watched a sitcom in 12 years? What's the last one you watched?

Okay, my claim is not exactly true. I have seen episodes from scores of sitcoms over the last twelve years, either first run or in syndication. A lot of them were funny. But I never cared if I missed an episode or six. I cannot claim to like ashow if that is true, no?

I used to like Wings. The show did not get the recognition it deserved for its combination of talented cast and writing staff. A lot of people must have dismissed the show as some goofy comedy centered around a small airport. It was much more than tat, though.

The creator of the show, David Angell, was on American Airlines Flight 11 when it crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center. Not a selling point for the show, but a tragically interesting factoid.

If you really want to know, I have seen quite a few episodes of The Simpsons, Frasier, Friends, The Drew Carey Show, Seinfeld, The King of Queens, Better Off Ted and Family Guy in recent years to varying degrees of enjoyment.

The Big Bang Theory is the only cannot miss I have experienced in a long while.

Formspring Question # 47--Contrarian Edition

Give me an unpopular opinion about LOST, Battlestar Galactica, and Doctor Who.

Lost--I really liked the finale. Others have complained it did not give any answers to the series’ questions, but ultimately, faith won out over science. Faith does not require answers. I can accept that.

As a bonus, I did not mind Nikki and Paulo. Michelle Rodriguez as Ana-Lucia Cortez was a fine addition to the cast, too.

Battlestar Galactica--I am not sure I have an unpopular opinion about the show. Were a lot of fans really upset about the ’God did it” finale? If so, I liked it, so that will have to count.

Doctor Who--Christopher Eccleston made a better Doctor than David Tennant. Eccleston played the part of a melancholy loner racked with survivor’s guilt perfectly. Tennant often came across as a whiny emo. Maybe the problem is Tennant had to drag out the persona three years longer than Eccleston, but regardless, that is how I feel.

Lynch mobs of teenage girls are now forming all over the United Kingdom to come after me now…

Formspring Question # 46--Third Rate Romance, Low Rent Rendesvous Edition

If you could go on a date with a celebrity, who would it be and where would you go?

You are all expecting me to say Reese Witherspoon and a particularly cretive violation of the Mann Act, but for the sake of variety, I will say someone else. Besides, a date implies one evening of fun. Reese and I are madly in love, no matter how much she denies it.

I will choose Elizabeth Mitchell.Yes, she is married, but we are calling this date non-romantic fun. By all accounts, Mitchell is an intelligent, sweet, and creative type who hasthe self-professed geek inclinations of a fourteen year old boy. She hides being a science fiction fan well in public, as I do, as well, so we would probably have a lot to talk about.

Where would we go? Out to eat. I would let her choose the place. Her tastes are bound to be more epicurean than mine. I would hate to embarrass her with a place beneath her standards.

Formspring Question # 45--Absorbing New Phosphor Dots Edition

Will you be covering any new fall season shows?

It does not look like it. The only two new shows I was interested in watching were The Event and Hawaii 5-0. They merit a split decision.

I tuned into The Event to see if it would live up to its hype. The ad campaign looked like it was trying too hard to make the series a big hit. Setting themselves up for failure, I thought. Sure enough, it did not live up to its marketing campaign. The characters were bland, the mystery did not hook me, and the time shifts were too confusing.

I might ’”get it” if I invested some time into it, but I am not going to. The event is being compared to Lost, but it does not measure up. With Lost, I liked the characters right off the bat and was hooked by the overall story arc. No such luck with The Event.

I did enjoy Hawaii 5-0 and will watch it agai next week. But it is good in the same way Burn Notice is good--a lot a fun action, but not much interesting stuff to write about later. I quit reviewing Burn Notice at The Eye even though I have yet to miss an episode. The show does not make for interesting blogging. You may recall 24 reviews were canned for the same reason.

Maye if one or the other picks up the pace. Something tells me The Event will be a one season wonder anyway.

Formspring Question # 44-On the Cutting Room Floor Edition

Is Apocalypse Cinema dead?

No, it is just the plan I had for it sounded better in theory than execution. I created a master list o movies I have easy access to, either through my own DVDs, left over from my mother’s old video store, online…whatever. Each film was supposed to be connected to one another through an actor or production team member. Occasionally, I had to include a movie I am not too thrilled to watch again in order to keep the line going. Such is the problem.

I watched Back to School last month, which I was happy to do. Rodney Danerfield is hilarious. The plan was for Ned Beatty, who played the university dean named Martin (Dean Martin…get it?) to the Superman series, wherein he played lex Luthor’s bumbling assistant, Otis. But I just have not been able to bring myself to watch the Superman films again.

Call me immature if you wish, but I still like collecting comic books as much as I did in my youer days. I cannot see well enough to read them anymore, so it is pleasure I can o longer partake in. The sense of loss makes it tough to partake in anything which reminds me of better times when I could partake in my favorite hobby. While I have never been a big fan of Superman, the original films are as true to the comics as any movie series to originate from them. Ergo, watching the films is more emotional than it should reasonably be. A weird dilemma, ut one I suffer nonetheless.

Besides, I have been watching more than one episode of The Wild Wild West a day because I have been having a good, nostalgic rage with it. Thereare oly so many hours in theay to do this sort of thign, so if I have a choice between enjoying myself or fulfilling a self-imposed obligation no one really gives two shakes of a lamb’s tail about me keeping anyway, the choice is not hard to make.

I will gwet around to updating Apocalypse Cinema eventually. Once I finish this master list and maybe--maybe--a horror movie theme throughout October, the moies I review are goig to be sporadic, random, and only ones I am in the mood to watch at the time.

Formspring Question # 43--Settling a Burning Question Edition

Do you or do you not support burning the Qoran?

I do not support burning the Koran, but I am even more against the government preventing anyone from burning the Koran.

I can understand how this might look contradictory. My rationale for not burning the Koran is to avoid being provocative and offensive to Muslims for no good reason, yet I critiqued Justice Stephen Breyer’s rationale that it is best to avoid being provocative and offensive to Muslims because they might, you know, cut some American tourists’ heads off or release sarin gas in Grand Central Station or other such religion of peace activities.

The difference is it is a personal choice whether exercising your freedom of expression is worth te offense it may engender in someone else. It is not the government’s role to decide for you. If police had arrested Terry Jones on some dubious charge in order to keep him in jail over the weekend so he could not go through with his Koran bonfire, I would have been the first to cry foul.

For that matter, while I am deadest against the ground Zero mosque being built, I do not want the government to intervene there, either. I am not thrill about the waving of pom poms I support that has been going on from the White House on down, but that is another gripe altogether.

I fully support the right of individuals to actively protest or support anything they wish as long as they do so within the law. It is the people engaged in these activities who ought to decide the moral value of them. I do not appreciate the idea of the government deciding on the general principle on our behalf.

Formspring Question # 42--Republican for Liberty Edition

So I am curious—I am trying to place you one the political spectrum. Obviously you are on the right, falling somewhere into libertarian territory if I understand you correctly on most points. So here’s my question: What political figure do you see as most...

The last word of your question was cut off, but I will assume it was akin to “palatable.”

I am almost embarrassed to admit it, considering the trouble he has gotten into as of late, but I m very much I line with Gov. Mark Sanford. I have a lot of respect for Bob Barr. Sarah Palin holds tentative promise.

Elected officials really cannot satisfy anyone’s political leanings perfectly, so I have to take the good with the bad. Ron Paul’s strict constructionist philosophy is great, but he is too far out there to seriously back or office, as a for instance. Following pundits who are not beholden to the trappings of elected politics is more enjoyable. I m a big fan of P.J. O’Rourke, Tucker Carlson, and Larry Elder.

I have to tell you my Christian beliefs have often kept me from being taken seriously as a libertarian leaning Republican. Whenever possible, I offer up secular arguments for taking positions influenced by my Christianity. Abortion, for instance, is a barbaric practice apart from ay religious teachings.

Then again, I do not see why government ought to regulate marriage, straight or gay, nor do I care much if pot is legalized even though Jesus refused a narcotic before his crucifixion, so I really do not make anyone happy.

If no one is truly happy with the way you do things, you must be doing it right.

Formspring Question # 41--Thirty Days in the Hole Edition

Where are you getting these thirty day themes?

They are a fad on Tumblr. I found a few I liked and decided to use them over the summer when the Eye is usually starved for content. Unfortunately, most of them are written by fourteen year olds for fourteen year olds. I have not found any more that strike my fancy, so it loos like this Strange Letters will be the last one.

If you want to look for some, try here, here, here, and here.