SEX STANDING UP

This is one of those times that, if I was actually a respected blogger, I would have to put in all sorts of warnings about how this isn't true, and it's very irresponsible. Thankfully, I'm just a random dude with a blog that no one reads. Which means, instead of warning kids not to try this at home, I can say "Go for it!" Oh, and I'll be expecting a thank you note anytime now from you Planned Parenthood investors out there for the huge jump in stock with which I just provided you.