Happy Thanksgiving!

The Rare Luck of a Pardoned Turkey

Turkeys are for eating, drawing with your hand, and not much else.

United Nations Appoints Representative for Alien Contact

The United Nations is a body of incompetent, undemocratic do nothings who cannot sit me no matter what they do. Part of me wonders why they are wasting time on some silly stunt lie this instead of calling attention to to more urgent matters like human rights oppression, but another part of me breathes a sigh of relief they are working on this sort of frivolousness instead of screwing up something important.

The United Nations is set to appoint Malaysian astrophysicist Mazlan Othman to act as Earths first contact for any alien that may come calling. the urgency, assuming there is one, is the appointment is because discovery of hundreds of planets around other stars has made the detection of extraterrestrial life more likely than ever before.

more likely, it is because the United nation's Office for Outer Space Affairs, of which Othman is a member, is jockeying for more money and therefore needs to increase its importance. NASA has a habit of announcing potential new discoveries that could shatter all that we know about the universe every time its relevancy comes under scrutiny, too.

Is there an increased potential for alien contact in the near future because o the discovery of new planets? Probably not. If first contact with aliens was an important issue, no one would be stupid enough to leave it to the United nations to handle.

For that matter, there is the standard viewpoint it has been a terrible thing for more advanced cultures to make contact with primitive ones because of the whole myth of the noble savage being destroyed by evil modernity. How can the intellectuals elite hold that viewpoint while encouraging contact with an alien race more advanced than humans?

Harlan Ellison is Dying

My favorite author is not long for this world.

Dogs Are Evil

Here is your proof, in case you needed any. Pack animals will go along wth any idea.

Russian Cult Worships Gadget from Chip 'n Dale's Rescue Rangers

I would almost guess this story was a hoax if I was not so convinced the introduction of Gadget into the Disney pantheon marked te beginning of the furry fetish.

If Olympic gymnast and all around cutie Shawn Johnson ever goes missing, we now know where to start looking:

PETA Wants Paul the Octopus Freed

PETA is demanding Paul the Octopus, who has shot to worldwidefame by predicting World Cup winners, freed after hisslave labor services::

BERLIN (AFP) – An octopus in Germany who has shot to fame by correctly predicting the outcome of the country’s World Cup matches should be set free, an animal rights group said on Friday.

“Paul has forecast that Germany will beat Argentina. In order that Paul too can celebrate on Saturday, and not just football fans, PETA Germany … is now asking for him to be set free.”

It is probably a moot point now that paul failed in his prediction that Germany would defeat Spain. He is on the verge of becoming calamari, I suspect.

But I am also sure PETA has a point. After all that soft living in his comfy aquarium, Paul is bound to flourish in the harsh ocean, fending for himself and dodging larger predators. What could go wrong?

There is a Lion in This Photo

Did you spot it?

BP Needs a Plan B; Bill Maher Suggests Racist Stereotype Solution

Contrary to my earlier post, BP has not successfully stopped the Gulf oil leak and is moving on to plan B.

The "B" does not stand for Barack, in case you were wondering. But noted energy expert Bill Maher apparently thinks t is a good idea anyway:

HBO's Bill Maher: "I thought when we elected a black president, we were going to get a black president. You know, this [BP oil spill] is where I want a real black president. I want him in a meeting with the BP CEOs, you know, where he lifts up his shirt where you can see the gun in his pants. That's -- (in black man voice) 'we've got a motherfu**ing problem here?' Shoot somebody in the foot."

That is right, Bill. Let your enlightened liberal racist attitude run on a long leash. Your remarks shows everyone what you really are.

BP Needs a Plan B; Bill Maher Suggests Racist Stereotype Solution

Contrary to my earlier post, BP has not successfully stopped the Gulf oil leak and is moving on to plan B.

The "B" does not stand for Barack, in case you were wondering. But noted energy expert Bill Maher apparently thinks t is a good idea anyway:

HBO's Bill Maher: "I thought when we elected a black president, we were going to get a black president. You know, this [BP oil spill] is where I want a real black president. I want him in a meeting with the BP CEOs, you know, where he lifts up his shirt where you can see the gun in his pants. That's -- (in black man voice) 'we've got a motherfu**ing problem here?' Shoot somebody in the foot."

That is right, Bill. Let your enlightened liberal racist attitude run on a long leash. Your remarks shows everyone what you really are.

Gulf Oil Leak Plugged

The Top Kill solution apparently worked. There is some good news for once.

Gulf Oil Leak Plugged

The Top Kill solution apparently worked. There is some good news for once.

CEOs More Honest Than Politicians, Preachers, and Professors

Economist Dwight Lee of Southern Methodist University has an interesting theory on what keeps professionals honest.

To summarize, most businesses, in order to remain profitable, need to maintain a constant customer base. Customers will only stick with a business that treats them honestly and fairly. But the case is not so with politicians, preachers, and professors.

Politicians have to face an electorate, but said electorate is often disinterested in politics in the first place with a short attention span even if they are interested. Plus, there are cases of gerrymandering and campaign finance shenanigans that allow politicians to ignore constituents. It is impossible to test a preacher’s extraordinary claims, and students are captive audiences. So what do they care about the professor’s honesty?

Human nature has tendencies towards greed and dishonesty. The best way to ensure one overcomes the urge tobe dishonest is free enterprise. .

CEOs More Honest Than Politicians, Preachers, and Professors

Economist Dwight Lee of Southern Methodist University has an interesting theory on what keeps professionals honest.

To summarize, most businesses, in order to remain profitable, need to maintain a constant customer base. Customers will only stick with a business that treats them honestly and fairly. But the case is not so with politicians, preachers, and professors.

Politicians have to face an electorate, but said electorate is often disinterested in politics in the first place with a short attention span even if they are interested. Plus, there are cases of gerrymandering and campaign finance shenanigans that allow politicians to ignore constituents. It is impossible to test a preacher’s extraordinary claims, and students are captive audiences. So what do they care about the professor’s honesty?

Human nature has tendencies towards greed and dishonesty. The best way to ensure one overcomes the urge tobe dishonest is free enterprise. .

Bill Gates to Block Out the Sun

What could go wrong?

The first trials of controversial sunshielding technology are being planned after the United Nations failed to secure agreement on cutting greenhouse gases.

Bill Gates, the Microsoft billionaire, is funding research into machines to suck up ten tonnes of seawater every second and spray it upwards. This would seed vast banks of white clouds to reflect the Sun’s rays away from Earth.

The British and American scientists involved do not intend to wait for international rules on technology that deliberately alters the climate. They believe that the weak outcome of December’s climate summit in Copenhagen means that emissions will continue to rise unchecked and that the world urgently needs an alternative strategy to protect itself from global warming.

Maggie Simpson already shot mr. Burns for trying this fifteen years ago.

Remember, Bill Gates the guy who gave us the Windows Vista travesty. If this screws up, we cannot CTRL+ALT+DEL the resulting Blue Screen of Death.

Bill Gates to Block Out the Sun

What could go wrong?

The first trials of controversial sunshielding technology are being planned after the United Nations failed to secure agreement on cutting greenhouse gases.

Bill Gates, the Microsoft billionaire, is funding research into machines to suck up ten tonnes of seawater every second and spray it upwards. This would seed vast banks of white clouds to reflect the Sun’s rays away from Earth.

The British and American scientists involved do not intend to wait for international rules on technology that deliberately alters the climate. They believe that the weak outcome of December’s climate summit in Copenhagen means that emissions will continue to rise unchecked and that the world urgently needs an alternative strategy to protect itself from global warming.

Maggie Simpson already shot mr. Burns for trying this fifteen years ago.

Remember, Bill Gates the guy who gave us the Windows Vista travesty. If this screws up, we cannot CTRL+ALT+DEL the resulting Blue Screen of Death.

Stephen Hawking: Contacting Aliens is Risky

Noted physicist Stephen hawking is warning against attempts to contact aliens under the progressive rationale that encounters with a more advanced culture could turn out to as allegedly detrimental as when Europeans first came to the New World. Maybe Hawking ought to stick to physics and leave natural history to people who know something about the subject. maybe then he will finally figure out the Divine origin of the Big Bang.

I am enormously skeptical there are any aliens out there, so I will give Hawking some credit for drawing the conclusion contacting aliens might be a bad idea. He would be better served rationalizing that the money and effort could probably be better on more tangible goals than some fantasy there might be life out there.

That said, I have often been baffled by the assumption that if any aliens are out there, they are a friendly bunch. What if they are not? What if they are nine foot tall lizards with city destroying weapons who comedown to Earth, kick our rear ends, and force us to mine for some ore on a rock three billion miles away all because NASA decided to say, “Hi!’ The Scientologists might be able to collaborate, but everyone other than Tom Cruiseand John Travolta would be screwed.

But seriously, who is Hawking kidding? There was nothing idyllic about the New World. They were a bunch of ignorantsavageswho had not even developed the wheel yet. They fought all the time, used slash and burn hunting techniques, and some practiced human sacrifice. They did not live I harmony with nature or each other. The concept of the noble savage is so much drivel. Western Civilization saved them from extinction.

I am still not too keen on that whole saying howdy to any alien that might be listening, however.

Stephen Hawking: Contacting Aliens is Risky

Noted physicist Stephen hawking is warning against attempts to contact aliens under the progressive rationale that encounters with a more advanced culture could turn out to as allegedly detrimental as when Europeans first came to the New World. Maybe Hawking ought to stick to physics and leave natural history to people who know something about the subject. maybe then he will finally figure out the Divine origin of the Big Bang.

I am enormously skeptical there are any aliens out there, so I will give Hawking some credit for drawing the conclusion contacting aliens might be a bad idea. He would be better served rationalizing that the money and effort could probably be better on more tangible goals than some fantasy there might be life out there.

That said, I have often been baffled by the assumption that if any aliens are out there, they are a friendly bunch. What if they are not? What if they are nine foot tall lizards with city destroying weapons who comedown to Earth, kick our rear ends, and force us to mine for some ore on a rock three billion miles away all because NASA decided to say, “Hi!’ The Scientologists might be able to collaborate, but everyone other than Tom Cruiseand John Travolta would be screwed.

But seriously, who is Hawking kidding? There was nothing idyllic about the New World. They were a bunch of ignorantsavageswho had not even developed the wheel yet. They fought all the time, used slash and burn hunting techniques, and some practiced human sacrifice. They did not live I harmony with nature or each other. The concept of the noble savage is so much drivel. Western Civilization saved them from extinction.

I am still not too keen on that whole saying howdy to any alien that might be listening, however.

KKK Repudiates Westboro Baptist Church

You know you are scum of the Earth when this sort of thing happens.